March 20, 2011

ST. SIMONS ISLAND, Ga. -- Normally, a trip to the Post Office is pretty matter-or-fact. Not this morning. There was no line and a Postal Service Clerk bid me over to her station. I had a priority envelope ready but I took the time to ask if she would weigh it for me to judge the postage between the $5.50 for priority service and first class. She said: "$2.46 for first class." That difference tempted me to rewrap the contents in a plain manila envelope. Instead, I said: "Next time I'll know."

Just as I finished my transaction, a young man came in and walked directly to the other Postal Service Clerk - but stopped short of the counter holding a small envelope aloft, hand-addressed and stamped. He appeared to be holding court. His eyes went from clerk to clerk, swept me into the gaze and even turned to see if the man addressing Registered Mail forms was looking at him. He was not.

I got the feeling he was registering a complaint and needed someone to add a "yeah, yeah." He said, "I mail a letter like this every week and it goes right over there," turning his head to the wall of P.O. Boxes. And each week I make this statement questioning the need to put a stamp on the envelope since it is not being mailed. And I will continue to complain until common sense prevails.

The clerk was calm and respectful but, nevertheless, recited policy in a way that was conversational but official. "And, sir, if you come in here next week, issue the same complaint, expect a different answer, then you will be disappointed."

"But it isn't being mailed," he said, a little more frustrated this time, and looking directly at me for support. So, I jumped in. "As soon as you give that envelope to a Postal Service employee, you have mailed it. She will do her job, cancel the stamp, put it in that bin where another employee will do his job, take it to the sorter, followed by Boxes clerk who does her job and so on. If your letter were going to California it would start off the same way, still cost the same 44 cents and have the same personal service you have here. What the revenue pays for is the service. It doesn't matter if it's 30 feet or 3000 miles.

"Sir, if you decide to drop it in the 'mail' box without a stamp, it will either be Postage Due from the recipient if you left no return address, and, if you did, it will be Return to Sender. Failing that, it will go to the Dead Letter Office." I smiled and said, "You don't want it to go there." I added, "no support from me, sir. I like the way the Post Office operates - and they need every 44-cent sale they can get. I gladly pay for this service."

He tossed his small envelope on the counter, turned and left, His half-hearted, mumbled "have a nice day" was more habit than sincere. The man addressing the forms came forward to take a place at the counter and at the same time turned to the exit door just as the young man was pushing through. He added to our conversation, and with a smile and twinkle he said: "From the Polo shirt he's wearing and the Sea Island cap on his head, I don't think he's hurting for the price of a stamp."

I had been musing and said: "Hmmm, since he mails that every week to a P.O. Box here, the recipient must live on the Island. He could drop the envelope unstamped directly to 'her' address. I say 'her' since I think it must be an alimony check and he would not want to run into his ex-wife. She might have taken him to the cleaners, as they say, and every 44 cents saved looms large in his budget.

We laughed as we all agreed with my instant analysis. I turned and hurried out - certain I'd see him driving off in a BMW. Not so. It was a KIA - but very shiny. He did put up a good front; well groomed and well dressed. He could catch a wife if she believes first impressions are lasting. Could he keep her? Not the one I just conjured up.

   

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