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Call It The 'PK' Syndrome
October 2004
Preacher's
kids - need I say more? It's an almost stereotypical reference
to someone assumed to be squeaky clean, who should be held up
as a shining example, but who is really running with the pack.
This
week, Harvard student and son of respected Al Gore, former Senator
of Tennessee, former Vice President of the United States, was
stopped by police for driving with his headlights off. Was he
looking for the stop, search, seize and arrest that goes with
such an utter disregard for the law?
It would seem
that the many times he and his friends drove around with marijuana
both in use and stashed for later use, attracted no attention.
He was being bad, but, unless someone knew it, he couldn't flaunt
it. Thus, no headlights ... I double dare you!
When George
W. Bush was campaigning for president, his twin daughters were
cited for underage drinking -- openly, in a bar. Of course they'd
be spotted -- what were they thinking? Perhaps, something like,
just because my dad's running for President is no reason for me
to be any different from my friends.
Do these parents
hold up their hands and say "why me?" Or, do they separate
their responsibilities as parents from their professional lives
- and hope we will, too.
It's not only
kids, but siblings as well. We remember Billy Carter (accused
of representing foreign interest -- Libya -- in the United States)
and Roger Clinton (caught on tape snorting cocaine and mouthing
epithets and racial slurs with no lumps) and the lives they lived
-- so different from what we'd expect from brothers of Presidents
of the United States. But, there we are. We're in the United States
and we can focus on where the problems lie. Noelle Bush, daughter
of Jeb Bush, was escorted into a rehabilitation center by none
other than the Governor himself.
It's not a
"trickle up" behavior for us to worry about His sons
arrest is absolutely no reflection on Al Gore; nor, is it a "trickle
up" behavior. Ex-President Clinton's behavior has been in
no way a reflection on the respect we tender his daughter, Chelsea.
So, what is
the syndrome all about? What come first, the children wanting
to "fit in" -- to belong to their peers in every way,
or, are they actually leading the pack? Are the parents, always
high achievers themselves, assuming their children will learn
from observing them, and following their own tried and true blueprint
for success ... and not taking time to give of themselves, time
to talk, time to listen?
The rest of
us fit into this syndrome in a way I'll never understand. One,
we like to see that the rich, famous, accomplished among us have
the same problems raising children as we do; and, two, we apparently
like to see the mighty fall, then we feel guilty for having those
thoughts.
Preachers
and priests alike fall into the syndrome, not as sons of preachers,
per se, but openly sons of Almighty God: Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggert,
the Boston Diocesan scandal, all creating shame through their
deeds, cloaking themselves in ignominy, while tainting some innocents
along the way.
In the case
of rich and famous, grand and notorious, we secretly want them
to be taken down; however, in cases involving men of the cloth,
we don't want it to be true. Their defense is that we are all
sinners and they are human, and no different from the rest of
us.
We don't want
to hear it! We prefer to think they might just be a few bad apples
in the bushel. We want to believe we're able to rise above temptation,
able to resist the urge to toil in the Devil's workshop. But,
if these holier-than-thou human beings among us can't, what chance
have we?
Are we holding
them up to derision, whether fathers, sons or brothers? Are we
pointing fingers? Well, yes, I believe we are. But not with the
tsk tsk suggesting shame on you. We point with index finger firmly
extended and say, "There. There, look at him. There but for
the grace of God go I.
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